|
Hello Reader, When I first imagined Infinite Halls, I knew I wanted it to be more than a collection of stories from parents. I wanted to create a space where I could sit down with people who've spent years thinking deeply about children, relationships, technology, and learning. The people whose work quietly shapes families, even if their names aren't the ones making headlines. I wanted a place where I could ask them the questions I've been wrestling with myself—and invite all of us into that conversation. That's why I'm especially excited to introduce our very first Expert Corner. My first guest is my dear friend, Shalini Melwani of Parenting Empowered. We've known each other for years, and every time we talk, I leave thinking about one idea that has profoundly shaped the way I parent. "Parenting is 80% connection and 20% guidance." It's one of the foundational ideas behind Gordon Parenting's Parent Effectiveness Training, but it's also become one of the guiding principles in my own family. Because sometimes a sentence doesn't simply explain something. It reorganizes the way you see parenting. Years ago, when I first met Shalini, I was looking for answers about screen time. Like so many parents, I wanted strategies. Better rules. Better boundaries. Instead, she kept bringing me back to something much more uncomfortable. The relationship. Not because boundaries don't matter. But because boundaries without connection eventually become a battle. That idea has quietly shaped how I've raised my own children ever since. As we recorded this episode, I realized how much of what I now believe about technology actually began in conversations with her years ago. One of my favorite moments came when she said: "If your child is into ants... you're into ants." It sounds almost ridiculous. Until you realize it isn't about ants at all. It's about entering your child's world before asking them to enter yours. Maybe it's spiders. For me, it was Minecraft. For you, maybe it's Formula One. Anime. Taylor Swift. Or the YouTuber they've been talking about for months that you secretly find incredibly annoying. The topic doesn't matter. The relationship does. Curiosity becomes an invitation. Connection comes before influence. Looking back, I think that's the part I underestimated when my own children were younger. Like many parents, I sometimes viewed technology as something standing between us. Shalini gently challenged that assumption. Instead of asking, "How do I get them off the screen?" she asks something much more interesting: "What are they actually doing there?" That question changes everything. Sometimes the answer is mindless scrolling. Sometimes it's loneliness. Sometimes it's creativity. Sometimes it's genuine learning. The point isn't that every screen experience is good. It's that we can't guide what we don't first understand. That feels especially relevant right now. Schools are rapidly integrating AI. Young people are learning in places that don't always look like classrooms anymore. The future of work will demand curiosity, adaptability, digital fluency, and lifelong learning—not simply the ability to avoid technology. At the same time, many parents understandably feel overwhelmed. We're trying to prepare our children for a world that's changing faster than any generation before us. It's tempting to think the answer is the perfect rule. The perfect app. The perfect screen-time limit. But this conversation reminded me that our greatest advantage has never been our ability to predict technology. It's our ability to build relationships strong enough that our children will keep inviting us into their world—even when that world looks very different from the one we grew up in. As Infinite Halls grows, I hope these Expert Corner conversations become a place where we slow down enough to think together. Not because experts have all the answers, but because they often help us ask better questions. And sometimes, better questions are exactly what we need. If you'd like to listen to my conversation with Shalini, you can find it here: If this conversation resonates with you, I'd love for you to share it with a parent, educator, or friend who's also trying to make sense of raising kids in a digital world. And if this newsletter feels worth passing along, please forward it to someone who might enjoy joining this growing conversation. If this sparked something for you, just hit reply. I read every response. Peace, Love, and Hairgrease, Arcadia They're a wonderful resource for families who want to have richer conversations with their kids—not just about school, but about character, purpose, relationships, and life beyond grades. Their conversation card decks have become one of my favorite tools for creating moments of connection around the dinner table or on long car rides. If you'd like to check them out, you can use ISTPROMO20 for 20% off on Amazon or directly through their website. It's one more small way to spend a little less time managing behavior—and a little more time building connection. |
Helping families create healthier relationship with technology through research, storytelling, and practical strategies for parenting in the digital age.
Hey Reader, I recorded what I thought would be a conversation about screen time between a mother and her son. Rashida was calm, grounded—as you’d expect from someone who teaches yoga. Burhan was thoughtful, articulate, surprisingly self-aware. They weren’t arguing. They weren’t defensive. They were just… open. And then Rashida said something that I think all parents need to hear: “For me, it’s always just a screen… I’ve never thought what is actually going on, or that there are people on the...
Dear Reader, While recording this episode with Carmen, there was one moment I think we can all relate to. Carmen is the mother of Vincent, an autistic teenager, and the founder of Optism, a platform supporting families of children with autism in Hong Kong and across Asia. She was describing the first time Vincent began messaging her on WhatsApp. When he was first diagnosed with autism, he was nonverbal. Carmen remembered wondering whether there would ever be a day when she could write...
Hello there Reader, Okay, I’m just going to straight-up show off. One of the reasons I started Infinite Halls is that I have awesome friends. Truly. They rock so hard that it sometimes feels unfair that I get to have them in my life—and many of them I met through my kids. I know that you have too! They are thoughtful, interesting, and quietly intentional as parents. They’re not posting about parenting. They’re not trying to be examples. But the way they live and raise their families has...